Couples & relationship counselling · EFT-informed & IFS · Ottawa & online
Couples and Relationship Counselling in Ottawa
You aren’t the problem. The cycle is.
Maybe it starts with money, chores, parenting, sex, or a message that went unanswered. Within minutes, you’re both back in the same place: one of you pressing to be heard, the other pulling away, and neither of you feeling understood. Couples counselling gives us a place to slow that pattern down and practise a different response while you are both in the room.
Two people. One pattern. The pattern can change.
Who couples counselling is for
You do not need to wait until the relationship is close to ending. Couples counselling, marriage counselling, and relationship therapy all describe the same work here: understanding what keeps happening between you and deciding what you want to do differently.
- You have the same argument on repeat, and nobody ever wins it.
- One of you pursues: raising issues, pressing, criticizing. The other withdraws: defending, going quiet, shutting down.
- Small disagreements escalate fast, and afterwards neither of you can quite explain how.
- You feel more like roommates, or like opponents, than partners.
- Something happened (a betrayal, a loss, a hard season) and you can’t find your way back to each other.
- The physical and emotional closeness has drained away, and reaching for each other feels risky.
- A big transition (a new baby, a move, a career change, in-laws) has shifted a balance that used to work.
- You’re not in crisis, you’re engaged or newly committed, and you want to build the foundation right.
The same fight, on repeat: why that happens
Couples often arrive tired of having the same argument and getting nowhere. In session, I do not assign blame or decide who is right. We slow the sequence down. What happened first? What did each of you hear? What did each of you do to protect yourself? The way one person protects themselves can set off the other, and before long the familiar fight has taken over.
Seeing the pattern does not fix it by itself, but it gives you something you can work on together. The problem becomes the cycle, not either person. If you want somewhere to start before a first session, this guide to setting healthy boundaries as a couple is a practical place to begin.
How couples counselling works: EFT-informed therapy and parts work
Communication skills can be useful. The problem is that they are hard to reach when both of your nervous systems are already on alert. My couples work draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy and parts work to help you understand what is happening underneath the argument and practise staying in contact when the pattern starts.
An emotionally focused approach (EFT-informed)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a couples therapy approach grounded in adult attachment, and it shapes how I work with couples. Anger, criticism, silence, or defensiveness can protect something harder to say: “I’m afraid you don’t need me,” or “I never seem to get it right with you.” I help each of you say more of what is happening underneath without forcing vulnerability before you are ready. A meta-analysis of 33 randomized studies reported improvements in relationship satisfaction following EFT and behavioural couple therapy.
Parts work (IFS) in relationships
Different parts of you can want opposite things. One part wants closeness. Another gets angry, goes quiet, or leaves the room before you can be hurt again. In a relationship, one person’s protection often sets off the other’s. IFS helps each of you recognize those reactions and speak for them rather than from them. Instead of “You never care,” you may be able to say what happened inside you when your partner turned away.
Where past trauma is actively driving the triggers, I may recommend adjunctive EMDR to process those specific memories, individually, alongside the couples work. If trauma is part of your story, I’ve also written about how PTSD affects relationships and how partners can heal together.
Your first session
Walking into couples therapy for the first time feels awkward for almost everyone, so it helps to know the shape of it in advance. Before anything is booked, there is a free 15-minute call with both of you on the line. The first full session is about understanding what brings you in, how the relationship got here, and what each of you hopes will be different. You will not be asked to reenact your worst fight, and nobody is put on trial.
From there, we map the cycle and decide what needs attention first. Sessions are 50 minutes. Either of you can tell me when the conversation is moving too quickly or when something does not feel accurate or useful.
Faith, culture, and your relationship
Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re shaped by culture, family systems, and deeply held beliefs. I work with couples of all backgrounds, faiths, and orientations, and your context is treated as a resource for the work, not a barrier to it.
As a Muslim psychotherapist, I also provide faith-informed relationship counselling for Muslim couples in Ottawa and across Ontario, with a working understanding of the intersections of Islamic values, extended family dynamics, cultural expectations, and modern marriage. This framework is there for couples who ask for it; it’s never assumed.
Fees and practical details
- Free 15-minute consultation. Both of you on the call, no forms, no pressure.
- Couples session (50 minutes): $220.
- Insurance: you pay per session and receive a receipt with my CRPO registration number (#11921). Most extended health plans in Ontario cover services by a Registered Psychotherapist under “Psychotherapy”; check whether your plan covers couples counselling specifically. I don’t bill insurance directly.
- In person at 9 Melrose Ave in Hintonburg, Ottawa, or online across Ontario. No referral needed.
Questions couples ask before starting
Is there a difference between couples therapy and couples counselling?
In practice, no. The terms are used interchangeably, and both describe the same work here: helping two partners understand and change the pattern between them. Whether you call it couples therapy, marriage counselling, couples counselling, or relationship counselling, what matters is the approach, which in my practice is EFT-informed, attachment-based, and supported by parts work.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy based on attachment science. It identifies and de-escalates the negative interaction cycle causing distress, then helps partners restructure their bond into a secure, responsive emotional connection. My couples work is informed by this framework, alongside parts work.
Can therapy help if we’re on the brink of separation?
Couples therapy can give you a place to look honestly at what has happened and what each of you wants next. Some couples want to repair the relationship. Others are trying to decide whether repair is possible. I will not push you toward either outcome.
Do we need to share your faith or background to work with you?
No. My practice is inclusive, and I work with couples across all backgrounds, faiths, and orientations. The faith-informed approach is an available framework for couples who actively want it or feel it’s central to their relationship; it is never a default.
Do you offer premarital counselling?
Yes, including faith-informed premarital counselling for Muslim couples preparing for their Nikkah. We can talk directly about family expectations, money, roles, intimacy, and the way each of you responds to conflict. The aim is to make those conversations easier to have before a recurring pattern becomes harder to interrupt.
Is couples therapy covered by insurance in Ontario?
Most extended health plans cover psychotherapy provided by a Registered Psychotherapist. Some plans cover couples sessions under the same benefit; others don’t, so verify “couples counselling” with your provider. You’ll receive a detailed receipt with my CRPO registration number after each session. I don’t bill insurance directly.
Do you offer couples counselling online?
Yes, across Ontario. Video sessions can be practical when schedules or distance make in-person visits difficult. The structure and pace are the same. Details are available on the virtual therapy page.
How long does couples therapy take?
There’s no fixed number of sessions, and I won’t pretend there is. Some couples come for a short, focused piece of work around one decision or one recurring fight; others stay longer to rebuild trust after a rupture. We review progress openly as we go, you’ll always know what we’re working on and why, and you can pause or stop at any time.
Will you take sides?
No. My job is to understand the relationship rather than decide which person is right. We work on the pattern between you, not against either partner. If the room ever feels tilted, say so in session. That gives us something important to address.
One small ripple is enough to start.
A free 15-minute call. No forms, no pressure to tell your story before you’re ready.
Book a free 15-minute call