Couples & relationship counselling · EFT-informed & IFS · Ottawa & online
Couples and Relationship Counselling in Ottawa
You aren’t the problem. The cycle is.
Most relationship conflict isn’t actually about finances, chores, or parenting. It’s about a breakdown in secure connection. Couples and relationship counselling here draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and parts work (IFS) to decode the fight you keep having, heal what triggers it, and rebuild a connection that holds.
Two people. One pattern. The pattern can change.
Who couples counselling is for
If this sounds like your relationship, you’re exactly who this work is for:
- You have the same argument on repeat, and nobody ever wins it.
- One of you pursues: raising issues, pressing, criticizing. The other withdraws: defending, going quiet, shutting down.
- Small disagreements escalate fast, and afterwards neither of you can quite explain how.
- You feel more like roommates, or like opponents, than partners.
- Something happened (a betrayal, a loss, a hard season) and you can’t find your way back to each other.
- You’re not in crisis, you’re engaged or newly committed, and you want to build the foundation right.
The same fight, on repeat: why that happens
Couples usually arrive exhausted from having the same argument over and over without resolution. In session, we don’t assign blame or decide who’s right. We map the cycle: the self-reinforcing loop where the way one of you protects yourself automatically triggers the other’s nervous system, which triggers yours, which deepens the disconnection.
Once you can both see the cycle, you can step outside it. Then you’re tackling the problem together instead of tackling each other.
How it works: an emotionally focused approach with parts work
Standard communication techniques (“I” statements, active listening) are helpful, but they tend to fail in the heat of an argument, because by then your nervous system is dysregulated and the skills are out of reach. For change that holds, my couples work draws on two research-supported frameworks:
An emotionally focused approach (EFT-informed)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an extensively researched approach to couples therapy, rooted in the science of adult attachment, and it shapes how I work with couples. Anger and criticism are usually armor: “secondary” emotions covering primary ones like fear of abandonment, feeling inadequate, or feeling unvalued. The work is helping you safely say the primary thing to your partner. When partners hear each other’s vulnerability instead of each other’s defenses, empathy tends to follow naturally.
Parts work (IFS) in relationships
We all have parts. A part of you wants desperately to connect; a protective, angry part pushes your partner away to avoid being hurt. In a relationship, my protective parts trigger your protective parts. IFS helps each of you recognize your protectors and speak for them rather than from them. That makes room for individual healing to happen in your partner’s presence, which is its own kind of repair.
Where past trauma is actively driving the triggers, I may recommend adjunctive EMDR to process those specific memories, individually, alongside the couples work.
Faith, culture, and your relationship
Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re shaped by culture, family systems, and deeply held beliefs. I work with couples of all backgrounds, faiths, and orientations, and your context is treated as a resource for the work, not a barrier to it.
As a Muslim psychotherapist, I also provide faith-informed relationship counselling for Muslim couples in Ottawa and across Ontario, with a working understanding of the intersections of Islamic values, extended family dynamics, cultural expectations, and modern marriage. This framework is there for couples who ask for it; it’s never assumed.
Fees and practical details
- Free 15-minute consultation. Both of you on the call, no forms, no pressure.
- Couples session (50 minutes): $220.
- Insurance: you pay per session and receive a receipt with my CRPO registration number (#11921). Most extended health plans in Ontario cover services by a Registered Psychotherapist under “Psychotherapy”; check whether your plan covers couples counselling specifically. I don’t bill insurance directly.
- In person at 9 Melrose Ave in Hintonburg, Ottawa, or online across Ontario. No referral needed.
Questions couples ask before starting
Is there a difference between couples therapy and couples counselling?
In practice, no. The terms are used interchangeably, and both describe the same work here: helping two partners understand and change the pattern between them. Whether you call it couples therapy, couples counselling, or relationship counselling, what matters is the approach, which in my practice is EFT-informed, attachment-based, and supported by parts work.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy based on attachment science. It identifies and de-escalates the negative interaction cycle causing distress, then helps partners restructure their bond into a secure, responsive emotional connection. My couples work is informed by this framework, alongside parts work.
Can therapy help if we’re on the brink of separation?
Yes, many couples start therapy as a final effort. Therapy can’t guarantee an outcome, but it provides a structured, neutral environment to find out whether the negative cycle can be repaired and a secure attachment rebuilt. Either way, you leave understanding what actually happened between you.
Do we need to share your faith or background to work with you?
No. My practice is inclusive, and I work with couples across all backgrounds, faiths, and orientations. The faith-informed approach is an available framework for couples who actively want it or feel it’s central to their relationship; it is never a default.
Do you offer premarital counselling?
Yes, including faith-informed premarital counselling for Muslim couples preparing for their Nikkah. Blending two lives brings predictable stressors: family expectations, finances, attachment differences. We identify your attachment styles and potential triggers before negative cycles take root, and build communication and regulation tools from day one.
Is couples therapy covered by insurance in Ontario?
Most extended health plans cover psychotherapy provided by a Registered Psychotherapist. Some plans cover couples sessions under the same benefit; others don’t, so verify “couples counselling” with your provider. You’ll receive a detailed receipt with my CRPO registration number after each session. I don’t bill insurance directly.
Do you offer couples counselling online?
Yes, across Ontario. Video sessions work well for couples, especially when schedules or distance make weekly in-person visits hard. Same structure, same pacing. Details on the virtual therapy page.
One small ripple is enough to start.
A free 15-minute call. No forms, no pressure to tell your story before you’re ready.
Book a free 15-minute call